Sometimes, i just don't know what i'm thinking or doing. At times like these, i'll always choose to do what i'm most comfortable with, to hide. I don't know what to do.
In this world, it's always about winning. You have the capabilities you be the head. I want to spend my holidays watching dramas, movies, going out to a cafe or something to have a drink, to write compositions, to start learning how to make clothes. I like to work towards my future. I don't like to do things i'm not confident of. Once i set upon this path that i want to walk along, i'll work towards it and make sure i'm prepared. But now, it's like i'm wasting time in school studying for all the exams and getting the pressure of getting As for everything, to not get kicked out, get above average results. So what if i study all these? All the pressure i'm under to get good grades, more than half the subjects i'm gonna drop in jc. So what's the point of my life? I know i need to study, i know the knowledge is necessary. I can't imagine life without studying and lessons either, without school with friends. But why can't things go in the pace that i want? Why is everyone forcing me to do things that i don't want to. Why is there so much stress put upon me? Keep your options open. Yeah. Keep it open. Not like i'll ever go into math or science. I know why Albert Einstein didn't do well in school. It's not that he's stupid or anything. It's just that he feels that all the knowledge given to him were debatable and he didn't want to learn things he didn't believe in. Yes. He was a great man, he went on to pursue his dreams, to do something for the world, he made a difference to science. But is that what i want? No. I don't want all these. I'm not going to follow his path. Convince me and i'll accept. Since you can't, you force everything into me and expect me to just accept all in one click. I can't do that. I hate this.