I have a clear aim of what i want, i go straight forward at my own pace and i don't care about anything else that doesn't matter. Is my view too narrow? I see one thing and i go for it, whatever pops up at the side, if it doesn't concern me, i wouldn't even bother. But what if one day my aim changes? Then what will happen? For now, I'm only studying for the rewards that my mum promised. It's the only thing that keeps me going. If not for that i wonder if i even have the drive for studying math and sciences.
I let my emotions overwhelm me and i won't let anyone hurt me. I'm strong but stubborn as well. I have a clear view of what i want and I stick strongly to my principles. Once you cross my line, you irritate me to the extent that i can't stand it, that's it. You get out of my life. I'm as straightforward as that. I have a strong protection wall around me and i won't allow anyone to break it. If i were to ever get into a relationship, i will never let myself get hurt. I don't see the point in giving so much for the other person when he's not worth it at all. My temper wouldn't allow me to either. In comparison to others, my personality is pretty much towards the extreme and while others remain neutral, i will stick to one side. Is that a bad thing? I'm sure even farhana can't beat me to that. Put the both of us with someone irritating, I'll be the first to land a slap on that person's cheek. Even if i shouldn't do that or i'm too immature to act so recklessly, i don't bother. Because it's just me. I won't change. At least for now.

I think it's time to put my past behind me. Everyone's moving on and so should i.

Yesterday night till morning was awesome. BOO to those who didn't stay. You missed out the fun. HAHA. Someday everyone should try popcorn cocktail. Zexuan simply loves it. haha *sarcmark*
Who on earth will karaoke in the middle of the night except us?

I don't have a problem with you. You are the one with the problem. I can't be bothered anymore.

Please don't make assumptions when you don't know anything.
Do you even think it's fair to us? Since you said you are resposible for it, can you do what you say and show it instead of insulting?

So what. You claim that you're doing more for the scholars. We went to send them off and where were you? Back at home sleeping?
You bloody started this freaking problem. You were the root of it all. And now, you're saying that we are at fault and you speak like you are some sort of saint. We've been suffering for half a year. FOR FREAKING 5 FULL MONTHS, not belonging to anywhere, feeling totally jutted out. It was like not being part of the class at all. YOU form the class and now, what we are doing is just trying to bond the rest of the class together. We are not a clique because we are making an effort to welcome and let everyone join in. But you, 5 months. What did you even do? SO now that you want to break out and bond just because you find a threat in us being closer friends and you find that as some sort of a revenge at you, you are blaming us that the class is split up. Have you ever wondered how much we suffered for the past months? We tried to join in, to make friends with you guys yet you just totally chuck us to the side, making it just impossible to join in. Now that you want to bond the class, FINALLY, you speak like you are some noble being. But have you ever wondered that these few weeks of you feeling uncomfortable because we have been going out and not inviting you is NOTHING compared to what we felt at the start? AND we didn't even say that we are not going to make an effort to bond with you. Things that you've did cannot be undone. You expect us to accept you that readily? All these take time and you don't realize it. And now that you say it in such an indignant way that you are not at fault totally, how do you even expect us to bond with you? You're just making my impression of you really go all the way down to the bottommost pit. You think class outing will solve everything? My foot. I don't see why we should be doing anything at all because you are trying to solve the problem and by doing so, you jolly well show your sincerity and not order us to break whatever clique when we are not even one because we are the rest of the class. The only problem is that we have bonded with most of the class and we are moving on to the scholars but you are not at all bonded with us. You created this mess you might as well be responsible and face it in a humble manner and not try to force us to do something that we are not willing to.

I think i'm slowly being introduced into the adult world. What it really means to be in a society and a part of it. It's not that simple as it seems...
I feel like i'm going into a world of evilness and somehow, along the way, i may lose myself. It's getting scary.

I'm on a boat. Maybe a sampan. In the middle of the vast blue sea, just like how jack sparrow once was, i am lost, all alone.

These few weeks are filled with activites.With my following fridays filled with movies and stay overs, i'm beginning to understand what's life. Haha. It's not all about tests and exams and marks. It's about how you live it to do crazy things once in every while. Okay. So this is the start of my exciting teenage years. While i suffer under the hands of the torturous and never-loving sciences, i shall live these two years of my life to the fullest and grasp every opportunity i have to do crazy things that i'll never thought i'd do. After the two coming fridays, up next is our house tour!!! YAY. okay 6 houses per day. We'll have tour for two days. ;D

I'm beginning to love the class more and more. ;D What with the backstreet students and 'the click 5', it feels more and more like a family. ;D
okay. This is the best class i ever had. 10v13 ;D

Have you ever felt this feeling of lost, of unsettlement, this feeling that sends a cold shiver down your spine? It makes me afraid. Of what, i know not. But i'm just, afraid.

It's cold

And i'm all alone.

I snuggle up in my thick blankets,

And hug myself tightly

The warmth engulfs me,

yes my very own heat

No matter the frost outside

I'm secure in the inside

But somehow,

I'm still afraid

For i am

All alone.

I think my anemia's getting worse. I feel dizzy more often... 

Life is suffocating. I am busy, my weekend is packed. Yet i don't remember what i am supposed to do. I intended to read Ender's Game yesterday, yet ended up sleeping while reading. In the end, i slept for most of the day. I could have continued sleeping if not for some responsibilities and i had to wait for some people when in the end, they didn't even come. I wasn't even informed. That's the thing about being absent. I miss out everything.

Sciences are killing me. Yet i need them to survive. Isn't that ironic?

Things do change. Everyone has his/her own destined path and when two friends split in search of their own future, who can be sure to say that years later, their friendship will still be as strong as ever? If both doesn't keep in touch with each other, will the friendship still last? This makes me feel that friendship is such a fragile thing. It's like my cactus. I thought it'd stay strong and sturdy and never wither. Yet it died in less than a year. This only reflects on how imperfect everyone is. Someday, i may just give up on waiting.

The worst brother you can ever get is none other than my brother. Seriously which brother shouts at his sister when she's sick? WAlau that basket. Can't he even have the decency to be polite?

I am sick. :(