I long for the days when I acted like James Bond and danced around in class while talking to people for more than 2 hours on the phone.

I hope tomorrow will be a day I’ll stop wishing Wenjing came to TJ instead of VJ, and Joel signed up for IP. 


Memories flooded through my mind. I daren't think any more or i'll find my eyes filled with water and the next thing i know, the tears will just roll out of it. I left AHS, to escape. From the suffocating religious views there, from all the bad memories, in search of a new environment, a new life. I've found a new environment, i've adapted, i made new friends, but everything weren't a bed of roses. Lessons are pretty unbearable coz i've no one to talk to, and chinese lessons just makes it worse. It was just last year, in 2B, where i had groups to join in, i was rarely lonely. Yet now in 13, it doesn't seem so anymore. 2B was more heart-warming, with people laughing at things that i do, frequently reminding me that i'm blur (not that i don't know) but those words make me feel that i'm cared for. Yet now, i barely hear laughter around me.
In guides, there were seniors, juniors and my beloved batch mates. We endured through everything together, from sickening PT, to foot drills (with a package of jumping jacks), time-limited gadget tying... And patrol interactions, (flowerpecker! I miss you!) when all my shit always come blurting out of my mouth, trying to keep the silence away. After guides when all of us lay around, scattered in the canteen or concourse, looking like a dead pile of people, resting and chatting, then there were always Evan, lifang and i making fun of cuiwen and taking forever to just climb down the bloody hill. It's like after i left, everyone moved on, busy with tests, homework, guides, as though i was never there before. They no longer have time for me. And in 13, it's even worse. I don't have someone to talk to. I'm stuck. In the middle of nowhere. I have to keep myself busy, always finding people to accompany me so that the loneliness wouldn't engulf me. But i know that it's still there. Everyone's in pairs in 13. Everyone has a group. Except me. There is no group that i can play and fool around like with Evan, cuiwen, lifang or with yeeling, and my beloved 2B dnt members and others in dnt clubs and of course, my sisters in guides. I was never really happy in class. Like what Matthew asked me once " Why are you always so emo in class?"
No. I don't regret leaving. Because i've learnt much more here in vjc and i see no point in regretting. But i miss everyone. Every. Single. One. Of. You. I may not have mentioned your names (As there're simply too many people) But you know who you are. And i miss you and the times we share. I hope to relieve those times again. But will you spare some time for me?