I realized people still come back to my blogger to check the links that i have. But just in case blogger decides to shut down my account, i'm posting this for fun. YIPEEE.

Kinda sick of a lot of things. I keep forgetting and i guess it's good in a way. Or rather, a natural reflex of mine. I forget all my worries. Everything changes. And only change is constant. I guess we'd just have to embrace change then.
Friendship seems so fragile.

My number 289th post. I'm shifting to tumblr. Goodbye. going-hogwarts.tumblr.com

I've been slacking too much recently. But what with the cramps, i don't feel like being a good girl and go back down to my 'awesome-ly chilled' room to study. What more, it's physics test paper and math that i have to revise. BOO.

the day we played hide and trees

Today was funny.
Firstly, while Jesslyn and i were walking back to class, we saw a couple of 09v11 seniors outside the classroom and one of them was lying on the floor. I was like asking Jess if they were having some taupok session. We needed to pass through them and the guy stood up, went to the side of the corridor and faced us, forming this human aisle at the sides of the corridor while we walked through and the guy went 'Konichiwa' in that humorous sissy voice while he gave us a deep bow. It was just damn funny since we were casting him the what-the-hell-are-you-doing-on-the-floor look and he immediately stood up to act like some japanese geisha. It was hilarious. Jess and i walked past and i laughed all the way back to class. IP seniors are just plain funny.
Then, we went East Coast Park to walk walk. Jesslyn, tristen and i were walking ahead and while we half sang half walked to east coast, Vivek, Matt and Zexuan, the most childish sec 3s you'll ever see in your entire life, started to hide behind some trees or something which was retarded coz the uniform is white and it doesn't camouflage. They were spotted very easily and they thought they were well hidden. Then, we faked that we didn't know they were hiding and started to run up the overhead bridge while they followed at the back. But too bad, the black sheep, zexuan exposed them thoroughly as we saw him tagging along at the back, trying to remain unnoticed but was spotted immediately. After that when we reached the park, they went on to hid behind coconut trees. And the trunks were so thin, we could see the white uniform protruding out at the sides of the trunk. They were caught many times running from trees to trees and yet they just continued to 'hide'.
In the end, while they continued their hide and seek game, tris jess and i just walked like normal for awhile, then started to run when they didn't notice and we managed to hide from them. (With my umbrella dropping twice on the run to hiding) We saw Matt and Zexuan walking pass, oblivious to us hiding behind some shops, then after a few minutes, Vivek came running towards them. When they were out of side, we ran off to the direction they came from and we managed to hide somewhere. But behind kind-hearted people as we are, we decided to make lives easy for them and we went back to look for them.
The sea was nice and cooling. The breeze made it very relaxing. It was quite peaceful. In the end tristen and i walked back home with our 1 dollar bubble tea bought on the way.

Most things are settled. Situation now is much better. 2 months to EOY. Have to start studying. I'm sick of this kind of life worrying about whether or not you pass your subjects.
Today was a failed prank. I actually laughed and felt really excited when i thought i succeeded. Almost. Forget it.
I need to save money. Seriously. No money. And my pocket's gonna have a large hole on Saturday. I need to save up. Yes. Okay. Next week is sandwich week.
I'm tired. And i'm going to sleep. Goodnight.

Can all these shit end quickly? I've never wanted it to be like that. Personally, i didn't think telling miss chua would settle anything. It just makes things worse.
I've told you everything i know. Whatever the others are reluctant to say, that's their problem. I've been honest with you. Can we let all these end? I'm tired and exhausted. Don't force me anymore.

Oh my goodness WHOA I almost got scolded by some art club teacher. Previously i signed up for some competition thing and they never informed me anything about it for so many months i thought i wasn't in since i didn't have a group and when i was about to leave school earlier on some chinese teacher called me and told me to go see her. WALAU DAMN SCARY LEH. She sounded so angry and pissed. And when i finally found her she told me to carry some shit to the art room. Whoa. I shouldn't even have joined art club.

Anyway, i think our school swing ain't going to last for long all thanks to the guys. Yeah have 4 people sitting on one swing and you still want to swing high high. The whole thing was trembling under the weight. Oh AND I SPENT 4 DAYS TO WRITE MY ENDER'S GAME STORY, 5000 PLUS WORDS THAT GAVE ME HEADACHE EVERYDAY AND NOW HALF OF IT HAS TO BE CUT. Wow. So fortunate. That was pure sarcasm. Even though the ending was mushy, i had fun writing it. So, i guess it's alright then. ;D I hope my efforts won't go down the drain. :S This makes me think of being an author in future. That opens another career path for me. ;D

I feel so fickle-minded i'm not sure if i'll even take art in jc. But then again, what else can i take?

Nevermind that's next time's problem. Chinese test tomorrow. Don't feel like studying for it. Haix. I shall go shower and read through a bit.

Today's assembly was funny.
We were shouting for full day as usual and while the whole school sits in the hall, this guy from drama stands up all of the sudden amidst the whole student body and takes out a horn (the world cup horn) and starts to blow it. It was damn funny and unexpected. I think he stood there for like quite a few minutes. Everyone was staring at him. It was hilarious.
Just a side note, my laptop sucks.

I want to go overseas to study. I want the chance to study in a top university. Oxford, Cambridge. That's the dream of practically every student who shares the passion for learning and want to use the skills learnt to influence people in future. Even though my passion lies in fashion design, i have to be practical. I know that i need money to pursue that dream. And the only way is to work and save up for it. I'd probably half work half learn fashion design overseas. But if i were to study in the top universities in England, i need money. Even if i get a scholarship, i don't want to depend much on my parents. I want to save up so that at the very least, i am capable of feeding myself overseas. If i need 10 bucks per day to settle my meals, i'd need money. So i might as well save up from now. But no matter how much i save or write compositions to newspapers, i can never save enough. I need a job. And i need to save up. Be stingy or selfish, whatever people say, i'm not gonna bother. I'm saving up for a reason. And i'm sticking to my principles.

Okay. Today was funny. We had totally no mood to study and apparently math and chinese were the only lessons. Chinese was hilarious.
Our chinese teacher didn't come and we had to go to 14 to join in the lessons and we pretty much wasted like half an hour on settling down and another 20 minutes on making a special spot in class for this special person.
It was chinese lesson and there were some people without mother tongue, and this V14 guy, (indian?) he was hiding in class talking to his friends and got spotted by teacher in the end. It was hilarious. He didn't even know what the teacher was saying since it's all in chinese. In the end he ended up at the back of the class all alone. Haha. Damn epic.

YAY. Review tests are OVER.
Math and physics were shit. I'm gonna fail it. BUT, whatever. I'll face it on tuesday. NOW IS PARTY TIME!!!

Today was quite funny, we went parkway and got the scoopz that zexuan owed us. On our way there while walking out of school, it was quite gloomy and was about to rain but we took our time walking. In the end, it started raining while we were halfway to the bus stop. It was hilarious. I shouted 'RUN!!!' and Farhana, jesslyn and i started to run to the bus stop like mad dogs. We never once looked back and while we panted and ran, we were all laughing on the way coz we looked pretty retarded when other students are all walking and i kept shouting 'run' along the way. It was quite fun though. The running kinda made me forget about the sickening tests that i took earlier. Then, when we got to the bus stop, we were gloating over the fact that the guys who were taking their time slowly must be utterly wet. HOWEVER, they came sheltered under tristen's big umbrella. -__-

Okay. VIDEO TIME NOW!!!

There's always this point of time when you give up on struggling and succumb to reality. And that's what's happening to me.
Happy Birthday Evan!!! Damn review tests. Or I'd go for the BBQ and wish you happy birthday. So sorry.
:(

OH MY GOODNESS. THE HARRY POTTER THEME PARK IS OUT AND IT'S DAMN BLOODY COOL. I WANNA GO!!!
And i feel this sudden urge to want to meet JK Rowling and make friends with her. ;D Oh no. My harry potter craze is coming back again.

Sometimes, i just don't know what i'm thinking or doing. At times like these, i'll always choose to do what i'm most comfortable with, to hide. I don't know what to do.
In this world, it's always about winning. You have the capabilities you be the head. I want to spend my holidays watching dramas, movies, going out to a cafe or something to have a drink, to write compositions, to start learning how to make clothes. I like to work towards my future. I don't like to do things i'm not confident of. Once i set upon this path that i want to walk along, i'll work towards it and make sure i'm prepared. But now, it's like i'm wasting time in school studying for all the exams and getting the pressure of getting As for everything, to not get kicked out, get above average results. So what if i study all these? All the pressure i'm under to get good grades, more than half the subjects i'm gonna drop in jc. So what's the point of my life? I know i need to study, i know the knowledge is necessary. I can't imagine life without studying and lessons either, without school with friends. But why can't things go in the pace that i want? Why is everyone forcing me to do things that i don't want to. Why is there so much stress put upon me? Keep your options open. Yeah. Keep it open. Not like i'll ever go into math or science. I know why Albert Einstein didn't do well in school. It's not that he's stupid or anything. It's just that he feels that all the knowledge given to him were debatable and he didn't want to learn things he didn't believe in. Yes. He was a great man, he went on to pursue his dreams, to do something for the world, he made a difference to science. But is that what i want? No. I don't want all these. I'm not going to follow his path. Convince me and i'll accept. Since you can't, you force everything into me and expect me to just accept all in one click. I can't do that. I hate this.

Wenjing fished her math homework carefully out of her pile of worksheets, dug an empty spot out of her overcrowded table and placed the homework right at the middle of the desk. 'Remainder Factor Theorem'
With a feeling of dread, she started to read the question. It was two sentences long. She thought to herself, this shouldn't take too long. It was 2pm.
Right now, it's 2 30pm and hola! She's still at the same question. Wonderful. Her brother had gladly left her to her own devices, ignoring her calls of pleas for help. She could picture herself right at the top of a castle tower, raising a white flag and 'BOOM!' the bullet went straight through her heart. Traces of crimson red blood could be seen on the flag of defeat and there goes the fine young life of Ms WJ. May she rest in peace. Not. Coz the homework has to be done.

I'm struggling to not ask any questions and just accept chemistry as it is but seriously, it's killing me. I DON'T WANT TO CARE ABOUT REVIEW TEST. But i don't have a choice. Okay, way to go wenjing. At least your bro is in the same plight as you, slacking.

I'm slacking with my bro right now :s
I guess the reason I'm still holding on to my blog is because I want to be able to look back at my past and compare. I've changed a lot. Probably more mature and more prepared to face the work force that I'll soon enter. The future I've planned for myself is not certain. I may not even succeed but I'll take risks. Some people say that the reason why males are more successful is because they dare to take risks. Well, I'm gonna prove them wrong. I'll take this risk.

I just feel like saying---- WHATEVER

I don't know what i'm thinking. The more i think, the more vague everything becomes. I don't exactly know what keeps me going already. Okay. I shan't think anymore.

I think i've resigned to fate. I'm actually starting to accept the theories in chemistry. However, i still feel that my wall is only half broken down. Please. Let these two years pass quickly. Alright 1 and a half more to go.

I had fencing today and coach told us some facts about men and women. He said men are from mars and women are from venus. I asked him why and he gave me this exasperated look. -__-''
Then, he told us this joke.
There was this best-seller book and it's called what males know about females. His friend went into a bookshop and saw a long queue buying it. He opened the book and saw---- empty pages. It was quite funny coz according to his description, he mentioned that the book was really thick. That shows how horrible men are. But that's not the point. After that i asked him why would anyone buy the book when it's all empty pages and looking at his expression, i think he pretty much gave up on me. Everyone was laughing though. (I bet they were laughing at the rate i'm making coach so fed-up.) Then, coach said that i'm a very simple person and i'll get cheated very easily. O_O??? Which is where i don't see the link. He said that the questions i ask will make males want to hit me. But then again, i can always hit them back isn't it? And why would they be so impatient to do so? (Okay bryan leong gave the expression that he probably would. But he's not a very patient guy towards me at least. So you can't count him.)
I think there's a gap. Somehow, i just sense it. Age? Why would there be a generation gap when it's just a few years. Maybe it's maturity. But somehow, i just see this line that divides. Maybe towards them what i need more is like a big brother or sister to guide me rather than a friend. Does it work better this way? So it draws back down to the senior junior problem. It has always been there. Just that i chose to ignore it. I thought it only happens in a uniform group. But i guess it's not the case.

OKAY PEOPLE OUT THERE. LISTEN UP OKAY. BECAUSE FROM NOW ON, I SHALL SAVE MONEY AND I MEAN IT. I WON'T GO OUT THIS HOLIDAY AGAIN. I NEED THE MONEHHH. COZ I'VE NO POCKET MONEY :(
And my foot still hurts. (Since i lunged the wrong way) I hope i didn't sprain it. :(

I solemnly swear that at the end of the year, i will spend every single day of my december holidays doing something meaningful and not just STUDY. I wanna PARTY!!!!!!!

I have friends struggling with 'o' levels and 'A' levels. And right here. Voila! I took 3 hours plus to finish one chinese essay meant to be finished in an hour's time. Okay. I should start worrying. Really. Haix.

I have a clear aim of what i want, i go straight forward at my own pace and i don't care about anything else that doesn't matter. Is my view too narrow? I see one thing and i go for it, whatever pops up at the side, if it doesn't concern me, i wouldn't even bother. But what if one day my aim changes? Then what will happen? For now, I'm only studying for the rewards that my mum promised. It's the only thing that keeps me going. If not for that i wonder if i even have the drive for studying math and sciences.
I let my emotions overwhelm me and i won't let anyone hurt me. I'm strong but stubborn as well. I have a clear view of what i want and I stick strongly to my principles. Once you cross my line, you irritate me to the extent that i can't stand it, that's it. You get out of my life. I'm as straightforward as that. I have a strong protection wall around me and i won't allow anyone to break it. If i were to ever get into a relationship, i will never let myself get hurt. I don't see the point in giving so much for the other person when he's not worth it at all. My temper wouldn't allow me to either. In comparison to others, my personality is pretty much towards the extreme and while others remain neutral, i will stick to one side. Is that a bad thing? I'm sure even farhana can't beat me to that. Put the both of us with someone irritating, I'll be the first to land a slap on that person's cheek. Even if i shouldn't do that or i'm too immature to act so recklessly, i don't bother. Because it's just me. I won't change. At least for now.

I think it's time to put my past behind me. Everyone's moving on and so should i.

Yesterday night till morning was awesome. BOO to those who didn't stay. You missed out the fun. HAHA. Someday everyone should try popcorn cocktail. Zexuan simply loves it. haha *sarcmark*
Who on earth will karaoke in the middle of the night except us?

I don't have a problem with you. You are the one with the problem. I can't be bothered anymore.

Please don't make assumptions when you don't know anything.
Do you even think it's fair to us? Since you said you are resposible for it, can you do what you say and show it instead of insulting?

So what. You claim that you're doing more for the scholars. We went to send them off and where were you? Back at home sleeping?
You bloody started this freaking problem. You were the root of it all. And now, you're saying that we are at fault and you speak like you are some sort of saint. We've been suffering for half a year. FOR FREAKING 5 FULL MONTHS, not belonging to anywhere, feeling totally jutted out. It was like not being part of the class at all. YOU form the class and now, what we are doing is just trying to bond the rest of the class together. We are not a clique because we are making an effort to welcome and let everyone join in. But you, 5 months. What did you even do? SO now that you want to break out and bond just because you find a threat in us being closer friends and you find that as some sort of a revenge at you, you are blaming us that the class is split up. Have you ever wondered how much we suffered for the past months? We tried to join in, to make friends with you guys yet you just totally chuck us to the side, making it just impossible to join in. Now that you want to bond the class, FINALLY, you speak like you are some noble being. But have you ever wondered that these few weeks of you feeling uncomfortable because we have been going out and not inviting you is NOTHING compared to what we felt at the start? AND we didn't even say that we are not going to make an effort to bond with you. Things that you've did cannot be undone. You expect us to accept you that readily? All these take time and you don't realize it. And now that you say it in such an indignant way that you are not at fault totally, how do you even expect us to bond with you? You're just making my impression of you really go all the way down to the bottommost pit. You think class outing will solve everything? My foot. I don't see why we should be doing anything at all because you are trying to solve the problem and by doing so, you jolly well show your sincerity and not order us to break whatever clique when we are not even one because we are the rest of the class. The only problem is that we have bonded with most of the class and we are moving on to the scholars but you are not at all bonded with us. You created this mess you might as well be responsible and face it in a humble manner and not try to force us to do something that we are not willing to.

I think i'm slowly being introduced into the adult world. What it really means to be in a society and a part of it. It's not that simple as it seems...
I feel like i'm going into a world of evilness and somehow, along the way, i may lose myself. It's getting scary.

I'm on a boat. Maybe a sampan. In the middle of the vast blue sea, just like how jack sparrow once was, i am lost, all alone.

These few weeks are filled with activites.With my following fridays filled with movies and stay overs, i'm beginning to understand what's life. Haha. It's not all about tests and exams and marks. It's about how you live it to do crazy things once in every while. Okay. So this is the start of my exciting teenage years. While i suffer under the hands of the torturous and never-loving sciences, i shall live these two years of my life to the fullest and grasp every opportunity i have to do crazy things that i'll never thought i'd do. After the two coming fridays, up next is our house tour!!! YAY. okay 6 houses per day. We'll have tour for two days. ;D

I'm beginning to love the class more and more. ;D What with the backstreet students and 'the click 5', it feels more and more like a family. ;D
okay. This is the best class i ever had. 10v13 ;D

Have you ever felt this feeling of lost, of unsettlement, this feeling that sends a cold shiver down your spine? It makes me afraid. Of what, i know not. But i'm just, afraid.

It's cold

And i'm all alone.

I snuggle up in my thick blankets,

And hug myself tightly

The warmth engulfs me,

yes my very own heat

No matter the frost outside

I'm secure in the inside

But somehow,

I'm still afraid

For i am

All alone.

I think my anemia's getting worse. I feel dizzy more often... 

Life is suffocating. I am busy, my weekend is packed. Yet i don't remember what i am supposed to do. I intended to read Ender's Game yesterday, yet ended up sleeping while reading. In the end, i slept for most of the day. I could have continued sleeping if not for some responsibilities and i had to wait for some people when in the end, they didn't even come. I wasn't even informed. That's the thing about being absent. I miss out everything.

Sciences are killing me. Yet i need them to survive. Isn't that ironic?

Things do change. Everyone has his/her own destined path and when two friends split in search of their own future, who can be sure to say that years later, their friendship will still be as strong as ever? If both doesn't keep in touch with each other, will the friendship still last? This makes me feel that friendship is such a fragile thing. It's like my cactus. I thought it'd stay strong and sturdy and never wither. Yet it died in less than a year. This only reflects on how imperfect everyone is. Someday, i may just give up on waiting.

The worst brother you can ever get is none other than my brother. Seriously which brother shouts at his sister when she's sick? WAlau that basket. Can't he even have the decency to be polite?

I am sick. :(

I think i screwed math test. But, NEVERMIND. HAHA someone farted in LT5 while we were doing the test. It was HILARIOUS. hahahahhaa. okay. anyway, after the test, i was SO SO SO SO much relieved and i see the clear blue skies in colour again!!! HAHA. Went to ice cream chef to have ice cream. DUH. What else can you have in ice cream chef? And then was FENCING!!! OH MY GOSH. I TELL YOU HOR. SABRE IS SO DAMN FUN. HAHAHAHAHA
Even CAPTAIN Marc says there's hope for me in sabre. HAHAHA. Okay. Sorry epee. I love you but the love is hidden deep inside. Yeah. Deep deep deep inside. :D
It shall be a form of stress relieve for me. HAHAHA. Miss tan and huiyang very funny. Haha restaurant city is driving them bonkers. Did i just say bonkers? Haha my son's name. ;)

13 is actually a very fun class to be in if there's no academic stress. Open house just ended. It was er... not much of sai gang work coz i left silently and peacefully. HAHAH!!!
Oh yeah. Everytime huiyang comes online, i'll receive a convo from him that says: Remember to give me salmon hor. (facebook restaurant city) HAHA He's not only mousehunt guy he's also restaurant city guy. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
A bunch of weirdos make a very interesting class. :D

Went to sakae sushi with farhana and angela. Finally. But i'm damn full. I thought i'd puke but i didn't haha. Came home to shit. Bought a cake for my parents though it's a few days late...
Haix. I don't feel like starting math. Oh by the way, Mark won the council pres!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!! HAHA. IPs won't be neglected anymore.
Was watching japanese prank shows. DAMN FUNNY. HAHAHA

I don't know who i am.

I've changed so much that i lose myself. I have no idea what kind of a person i am. I don't know.

I hate the way singaporean works. I wanna go overseas to study.

All these difficulties make up who you are.

Yes. Stay strong.

what keeps me going...

i want to fly too.

I want to run in the rain and forget all my worries. I'm tired and exhausted.
There must be a way to get out of this. Do not give up. Persevere through like how you did for french.

okay. i'm saving up. Worse comes to worst if i don't get a scholarship to study overseas because i'm dropping my science, i'll just fork out my own money. I'm sleeping during recesses. I can't afford to not pay attention anymore.

I feel stressed... And suffocating.
I won't cry. Coz it's no use. 

All of a sudden, what i've been confident of ain't the case now.

I've thought of my choice before, whether i should have left or not. But after handover, my perception changed. I used to fantasize on the thought of still staying in ahs with all my good buddies and probably vying for a position in guides. Or rather,i've thought more of being someone like min li, to cheer everyone up and be that happy figure in everyone's hearts. For some reason or another, i think i've failed to do so.
Okay. Back to topic. Handover was over and the way everyone got a position and it was just right makes me feel that my departure was worthy. This certain competition for a position in guides was kind of lost after i left and i think it's pretty good, since there had been more than once i felt this position vying thing suffocating. Due to one reason or another, i don't really feel that the positions that several batch mates got was ideal but then again, i've missed out about half a year with them, which is also the critical few months of bonding with my batch.
My only pity is that i don't get to know if i'm competant enough as the position in guides reflects a lot on what i've been through in guides and what shaped me.
The moment i left, i've broken the bond and everything, leaving myself to become an outsider, although most may not have realized. I'm out of this game.

At the very least I failed with dignity. Don't give up.

Even though i failed my tests, i am proud to say that i didn't cheat.


Studying is not equals to passing. I need to spend more time studying my math and science. I will never be a rubber band streched to the extent that i break. I shouldn't be. I've been through so many things and still managed to keep myself whole in one piece. So why should i let myself collapse?


Perseverance. I used to have a lot of it. But what happens now? Why am i so tired?
You've failed much more french test than this. Don't let it affect you.

Chemistry lessons was horrible. Physics test tomorrow. Geog test the day after. Friday is just plain busy. AHHHH!!!

Math sucks even more today. So does chem

Today's rapunzel at the library was performed... to a bunch of kids probably less than 5 years of age -.-''
Alright. I wasted another day. PHYSICS AND GEOG!!! AHHHHH I HATE SCIENCE!!!

Haiya screw it whatever I'm dropping chemistry. Bloody sciences.

Did someone prank me or something? This person added me on msn and started a convo saying she's 21 and just came back from work. (BULLSHIT) Then, she asked if i were a guy and that we met on some website. She even wanted to go on webcam with me. -.- If i were to do what you said i'd be a moron. Idiot.

Today's a bad bad day. I wonder if I made the right choice coming to vjc... This sucks. I learnt that stress can result in such symptoms but I can't help it... It just irks me. So many times I felt like crying after coming to vjc. I controlled my tears but how long can I do so? If I were to stay in ahs would I even cry? Wenjing, you made this choice you bloody well make the best out of it. It's not the time to regret.

Criticism. The differences are big. I think I'm regretting.

I just hate this. Miserable...

2 days ago...
The ceiling fan in my room was faulty and my mother witnessed it smoking. As the switch is connected to the lights, my room has officially no lights. Which means, i have to study in the dark... :S
Troublesome. Bleah.

According to Matthew, everyday is a new day. I should think it that way too. Or i doubt i can survive through 2 years of IP. Don't worry, there's always projects to push my grades up.

I shouldn't be angry and increase the risk of getting high blood pressure because of some worthless people. That's it. If you anger me again, i can't be bothered with you and i'll just freaking ignore you.

BULLSHIT. You know what? All it takes is what step to change you from being irritating to a bloody bastard.

Screwed totally screwed.


Why must the class be so competitive? If you push me any futher, i'm gonna explode. Stop stressing me out. And is marks that important? What's the point in forcing other people's marks out of their mouths? What do you gain from it? AND I TOLD YOU YET YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT. WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM, BASTARD?

Bastard. You just wouldn't shut up will you? 

You are getting on my nerves and once you cross that limit. I'll give you a slap and 

I mean it.

Was researching for notice board challenge and realized this guy has really big brains. (by the way he was talking bullshit about protons and rutherfault)
facebook games are addictive. :S

I think i just wasted my saturday... Nevermind there's always a tomorrow ;D Oh and there's branch tomorrow with my family. Something to look forward to... ;D
Btw, just for clarification, there are some people out there whom i enjoy the company but we'll never cross that friendship line. Yeah i'm pretty sure about that.
Oh and I'm GONNA MAKE MY IC SOON!!! BUT my hair hasn't grown any much longer... :( And the ic photo i take will last for like the next 10 years or something... :O

It's kind of sad to give up on something that i've persevered for so long. No. This won't be the end of wenjing and french. I'll learn the language again when i get the chance to.

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MATH TEST IS OVER!!!! HAHAHAHHAHA
first 2 questions were ok. Last three was :X. Count me dead after question 2. It's over and done with. DON'T THINK ABOUT IT WENJING.
Alright. Change of seating arrangement. I'm happy with my new group. Kinda at least. Better than previous. :D I'm free this Friday. Anyone wants to go out?

It's always at the end of holidays that i start rushing homework. The cycle repeats all over again.

IP1 Adventure Camp in Bintan

1st day

BORING DAY. There were a lot of cliques etc and there were 3 13 people in my group 8, leaving me to sit with zexuan. :S He kept spitting saliva. I shan't elaborate more. Went to charcoal factory and we did mangrove reforestation. That was the only fun thing for the day. Coz we get to go under water and it's really very very fun. We used our legs to dig a hole and stick the young mangrove seedling in. Some of those kept floating away and i was like catching all of it. It's damn fun. The soil was exceptionally soft and we almost sank into it. Even though we got really dirty, it was worth it. (the shoes went from white to black with soil in my socks. Eww.) slept in tents.

2nd day

We had amazing race, coconut tree climbing and sandcastle building then dragon boating. Coconut tree climbing was fun. I CLIMBED ABOUT 3/4 LEH. It's really tiring and when i was in the middle i was already like can i go down. Coz there's nothing much for you to support your legs on and you have to use your hands. I was hugging the tree as though it were my only hope of survival. Then, the dragonboating was really tiring and there were blisters on my hands. The seawater kept going into my eyes and i couldn't see anything. Half the time i was closing my eyes while rowing and ended up hitting my fingers on the boat. We made it to this ulu island and it was bloody cold. After that was outdoor cooking. I almost cried. There was no teamwork. And then, we had night walk and we waited damn long for it. I was like sleeping on jesslyn and the others who bent down sleeping looked like piles of bags in the dark. When we started the night walk, i was at the front and before that the trainer scared us by saying that the island isn't very 'clean'. I was holfing on to my bottle tight. Haha. The sleeping part that night was -.-. Halfway through the night, it started raining and the tent was like blown from right to left back to front. But we were so tired we didn't bother. The water started seeping in from the sides and my feet were submerged in water. And i was squeezed to the side. Again. It's like if i turn i'd hit Mimmie. Whereas the other side of the tent seemed really spacious. Bleah.

3rd day

I held on to my bladder till morning (coz everyone seems reluctant to accompany me to the toilet.) And the toilet was like canvas sheet covering a deep hole. There was fresh shit inside, light brown ones, pee and blood with pads. Yuck. It was freezing in the morning. We left the tent site after that and I ended up sitting at the back of the van and Mrs Chua's really fun to be with. We played a lot of games and guessed the mysteries. CIP in school. Language barrier. Mountain climbing. Before the climb, Jesslyn and i went toilet with the long queue and ended up being asked to pee behind the toilet around the bushes. It was damn funny. We were like 'OK now it'll be over soon. Don't care la. 123 we go down ah.' And we were so close to mother nature for once.  The climbing up part was tiring when you had to pull yourself up. But it was quite memorable. Darius and Horatio help me throughout the first half of the climb, then Jesslyn and i went to the front and we got ourselves to help with. Sengjoe went the wrong way up and got stuck. everyone told him to stand up and he was like 'NO!!! I can't!' Hilarious. On the way down, HOWEVER, *rolls sleeves up* Zexuan + Sengjoe. You finally know what hell means. We bickered all the way down and zexuan paired me up with sengjoe and all the bloody shit. YUCK. And he keep cutting in between me and jesslyn. He did help Jesslyn quite a bit but also made her fall a lot of times. AND whenever he's about to fall he'll hold on to my bag and almost make me fall with him. MORE THAN ONCE.  Seng joe tried his 'flying fox' thing and ended up almost tumbling down the mountain. Retard. He even made zexuan and jesslyn fall. When i asked zexuan to go to the front to help, most of the time he practically LEFT ME TO MY OWN DEVICES. Bias. What kind of shit is that? That's why, don't count on guys. Going up was okay but when down, it's very slippery and difficult.Especially with my experience last year breaking my tooth, i was struggling yet there was no one in front to help me. And with all the noise that zexuan and seng joe was making, i gurantee i'd have killed someone if i were on flat ground. After that was fire flies watching. It's kind of retarded coz we ony see some lights in the dark. And we were guessing Mrs chua's mystery at the back of the bus so when we went down, we didn't pay much attention to the fireflies.The night was awesome. Hotel!!! I was finally clean for once. Though i waited damn long for my turn to bathe.
4th day
CIP in orphanage, visiting some place where the locals live in, campfire. The campfire was quite ok, very dark, see nothing. But the fire's big and they prepared fireworks for us!!! We went to a shopping centre to buy stuff for the orphans and the stuff there are quite cheap. Just that the money stinks coz it was all wet in my bag. Jesslyn and Jamie came over to our room to talk at night and Miss chua came in to check. Jesslyn immediately hid into my blanket  coz it's lights off already. In the end Miss Chua joined in our chat. It's damn funny. Anyway, changing seats after hols!!! YAYYYY. We chatted till 3am and after they left, gracia and i talked about 2B for like 30 minutes. Next morning we were all late.
5th day
Visited fishing port. Wrote the parent letter thing. Miss Chua shared her experience and whole of 13 were very emotional and cried. Mrs Chua shared her experience the day before and plus Miss chua's, you just can't help but lose control of your tears. Went home after that.

WENJING is back to civillisation!!! Computers, phones, proper toilets, beds. Oh MY. This is life. Shall sleep now and elaborate on camp tomorrow. ;D

benjamin sitting on jie yao's lap 

sihui's love for scott: 

that shows how busy i was. Can't blame me for the mess. :P

THANKS for the present, dory no. 2!!!

I was supposed to reach home before 9.30 pm. Yet i ended up chatting with yeeling for 2 and a half hours straight and we didn't realize it was 10pm until the security guard 'chased' us out of the rooftop garden in Tampines. It was a hearty conversation. There's no room for regret. SO, forget about the music/art class with yeeling...
Mum was dead angry. Missed the bedok stop in the MRT and went to Kembangan. Was very late and decided to take bus 42 home. Waited very long. Got home even later. Scolded by Mum. She's not letting me go out at night anymore. X__X
I was looking through all the notes that i've accumulated in the two years in AHS and i almost cried. But i've also realized how little notes i've received from those close to me. There's nothing much to look back on...
Oh and YEELING your memory's WORSE Okay... But still, thanks for the present ;D it'd be very useful.
28 email inbox. I better check my facebook account.

This week was packed. Really P.A.C.K.E.D. However, i'm kinda enjoying it. Coz it's really fulfilling and every single moment was spent on meaningful things. ;D ;D ;D
Thanks everyone who helped me in maths. Especially huiyang. YOU MAKE A VERY GOOD TEACHER!!! Extensions left and... physics... BLEAH. Doing physics tomorrow. With loads of classmates. :) okay. OFF TO WATCH MY SHOW!!!

Things seem like it's getting better. I want a change of seats in class. I'm desperate for that change... I NEED HELP!!!
Okay. We rushed chemistry project today and it was FUN. What with all the singing and changing of lyrics to the chemistry related atomic guy ( don't remember name) It's really enjoyable. AND we made a model!!! I still glued my fingers together though it's not as bad as the super glue... Anyway, this week may be hectic but when you really spend every single moment doing something really meaningful (like school work) It makes your life very fruitful. Coz you aren't slacking. I think i'm pretty much done with my homework that's due tomorrow. But then, i don't remember anything else i need to do... So... By the way, ONE FUN FACT: when you bring the laptop to school and there's internet connection, you get REALLY productive.
Everything seems so much stress-free after chem test... Forget it. I should start on beloved math.

Hectic week. More than 10 assignments to complete in a week. The teachers came in, released the bomb and left us to fend for ourselves. BUSY BUSY BUSY.

Firstly, when i went to school early this morning, 13 was stuck outside the class coz we didn't have the keys. :o
But that's not the worst. Someone stole our sugar and we couldn't do the experiment as a result. I called this erhem person erhem to ask him to bring and HE BLOODY HANGED UP ON ME TWICE. I was seething with anger. If it were possible, i bet there'd be smoke. ON THE THIRD TIME, i practically shouted into the phone: '' EH you bloody idiot. Bring the sugar or you die.'' And i hanged up on him. He think he's the only one who knows how to hang up on people ah? Forget it. He brought it in the end---15 minutes before lessons start. >:-S
Alright. Anyway, for PE today, i actually passed everything!!! All 3 mock tests. AND I FINISHED MY STANDING BROAD JUMP ON FIRST TRY LEH FIRST TIME YOU KNOW. MWAHAHAHA. I didn't train for nothing. HAHA. And then, alarming fact no.2. I jogged throughout the WHOLE bloody 2.4km. WITHOUT stopping. HAHA. Never expected that right? Okay. Anyway, alarming fact no.3. I passed 2.4 km by 10 seconds. And i mean SECONDS. WTH right??? I used to walk and jog and walk for AHS and still pass with flying colours. Must be the track's fault.
Damn lot of assignments due this week all because of Bintan trip. :( BUSY!!!

I ignored someone's friend request. I feel sorry... but too bad.

By the way, i just realized i made a terrible mistake. I mistook number 88 locker as mine and even posted a note there to tell the owner to get the lock off. BUT NOW, I realized i'm wrong... D: My locker's somewhere else. Oh no. DEAD embarassing... aiyo...

mini nafa test tomorrow. chem test on wednesday. JUST KILL ME.

I'm losing my craziness. Or have i lost it? Oh no. That's bad.
I went back to AHS on friday after cross-country and hwee fen said that she doesn't see the craziness, the loose screw-ness in me anymore. I always come back from vjc with the serious look. I haven't really noticed that much change in me. But it seems like i'm no longer the same anymore. Maybe the environment factors affected me; maybe it's the people. But whatever it is, i don't enjoy that much craziness and fun in VJC. Is that a bad thing? I mean, my loose screw is supposedly fixed. But i don't want it to. Even a simple loose srew leads to a story in guides. I don't want to lose that important part of me.

Oh and thanks for the wishes :D

One thing that i'll never regret doing is to join snl.

Tired. Sleepy. But i have to study. So many things to do. So little time. Can't go for guides food trail. 8th March will be the day i leave for Bintan.

Jogged 3/4 of cross country. I was so proud of myself. I could have walked all the way.

I can't any o how do my chinese. I have to start paying more attention to it. And i need to start on other subjects. I need chinese to pull my grades up. Alright. Back to study.

I long for the days when I acted like James Bond and danced around in class while talking to people for more than 2 hours on the phone.

I hope tomorrow will be a day I’ll stop wishing Wenjing came to TJ instead of VJ, and Joel signed up for IP. 


Memories flooded through my mind. I daren't think any more or i'll find my eyes filled with water and the next thing i know, the tears will just roll out of it. I left AHS, to escape. From the suffocating religious views there, from all the bad memories, in search of a new environment, a new life. I've found a new environment, i've adapted, i made new friends, but everything weren't a bed of roses. Lessons are pretty unbearable coz i've no one to talk to, and chinese lessons just makes it worse. It was just last year, in 2B, where i had groups to join in, i was rarely lonely. Yet now in 13, it doesn't seem so anymore. 2B was more heart-warming, with people laughing at things that i do, frequently reminding me that i'm blur (not that i don't know) but those words make me feel that i'm cared for. Yet now, i barely hear laughter around me.
In guides, there were seniors, juniors and my beloved batch mates. We endured through everything together, from sickening PT, to foot drills (with a package of jumping jacks), time-limited gadget tying... And patrol interactions, (flowerpecker! I miss you!) when all my shit always come blurting out of my mouth, trying to keep the silence away. After guides when all of us lay around, scattered in the canteen or concourse, looking like a dead pile of people, resting and chatting, then there were always Evan, lifang and i making fun of cuiwen and taking forever to just climb down the bloody hill. It's like after i left, everyone moved on, busy with tests, homework, guides, as though i was never there before. They no longer have time for me. And in 13, it's even worse. I don't have someone to talk to. I'm stuck. In the middle of nowhere. I have to keep myself busy, always finding people to accompany me so that the loneliness wouldn't engulf me. But i know that it's still there. Everyone's in pairs in 13. Everyone has a group. Except me. There is no group that i can play and fool around like with Evan, cuiwen, lifang or with yeeling, and my beloved 2B dnt members and others in dnt clubs and of course, my sisters in guides. I was never really happy in class. Like what Matthew asked me once " Why are you always so emo in class?"
No. I don't regret leaving. Because i've learnt much more here in vjc and i see no point in regretting. But i miss everyone. Every. Single. One. Of. You. I may not have mentioned your names (As there're simply too many people) But you know who you are. And i miss you and the times we share. I hope to relieve those times again. But will you spare some time for me?

Today's a pretty boring day. Only thing that's worth mentioning is probably the Anderson ice cream guy's talk. It's supposed to be in chinese yet he kept talking in english and a bit of chinese and hokkien here and there. It was hilarious. I kept laughing. I think the teachers kinda got a shock. Haha. Fencing after that was playing games. Quite fun. And oh by the way, my bag was almost locked in the classroom. The auntie who locks the gates etc. is a real b****. I shan't elaborate. 3rd period PE tomorrow. :( OH YEAH. SCOTT!!! THANKS FOR THE PICTURE YOU DREW FOR ME. I LIKE IT VERY MUCH!!! (although i was thick-skinned enough to ask you to draw it for me)

You think you big ah? Don't reply me and you broke my heart. *sticks tongue out at you* Do you know how hurt and disappointed i was? Apparantly, you don't bother coz you are indifferent. INDIFFERENT. I shall forget that i ever added you on facebook. I shall forget all the memories, images of you when you're a non-primary school student. I'd rather you stay as that cute little P2 boy. To think i was so excited when i thought i found you. I still lost you after all. No. I don't know you. The boy i know has died.

Have you guys forgotten?

My birthday cakes. :D Mum bought it for me. :) Looks nice huh? And there are some french printed on the wrappings. Too bad it didn't taste that nice... The sushi's also part of the 'package' and it became my dinner. ;D

I expected much more

I wished that was not all

Perhaps i'm wrong

 Perhaps you've changed

 I waited and wished

Contained with excitement

You trampled on my hopes

Maybe unknowingly

If this is what it is

this is what you are

I'd rather my memory of you

stays in the time of childhood

The memories we share

Remains as clear and vivid

As you were a young boy then

And i was just an ignorant girl

The coldness freezes

And it was as though 

A hammer that hit 

And shattered my heart

I refuse to spoil

that image of yours

that i held on to

for years and years

Red was the colour

Lively you were

Yet from summer

It became winter

i hope i'm wrong

HAHAHA i'm feeling much better now. I went online and was spammed by messages. And the nice nice message from yeeling. :D AND AND my juniors remember my birthday!!! Rebecca and April spammed me with messages. HAHA. I think i'm going back AHS this friday. :D
Stayover on saturday!

Thank you 13 for the cake and the card!
Went to ice-cream chef after school to 'celebrate'. But well, it wasn't exactly considered fun, since it was just chatting and eating ice cream. It's like another meaningless birthday.
Farhana emerged as the first for wishing me happy birthday today, Angela coming in second. Yeah... I don't feel the 15-ness in me. After every birthday, i know i'm one year older, but it doesn't mean much. The importance of birthdays seem to be gradually fading. That seems like a sad thing...
ANYWAY, I'm old. 15 is an old age. The word 'child' is crossed out of my dictionary from now on. I'm a teenager. WOW.

It's my last day as a 14 year old... Awww. I'm getting old.

Right then,

i was full of anticipation

Right then,

i expected something more

Yet my hopes were dashed

utter disappointment

my insides were bashed

as reality strucked.

There was nothing more to be said

Haha It's like lost and found.
I found Teh Wen Jin!!! Damn excited and high now. WOW. Haha he added me on facebook. Changed damn lot. Almost couldn't recognize him. Haha. The feeling of exhileration when you found a long-lost friend. :D :D :D

Anyone wants to spend the friday with me???

I was supposed to do my homework and finish it up yet i ended up sleeping till 6+ pm. Not in the mood for homework but i still have to do it...

There was this angel mortal thing between 10v13 and 09v13 and Jamie's mortal is plain hilarious. He gave her a gift wrapped with newspaper. Inside, surprise present no.1 : some chicken sauce or something. Surprise gift no.2: Amath book cover. On the other side is a message. Who the hell gives that as present??? I laughed like shit all the way and when Jerrel (i think), Jamie's mortal and other seniors came up to our class, i looked at him and continued laughing non-stop. They were like ' what are u laughing at?'

Abdullah(angel) got marc(mortal) some pink mirror which was very girlish. And Marc wasn't gonna reply him and even 'refunded' his present. So in the end, Abdullah got our class rock and wrote 'Marc my words, revenge your angel will seek' on it. I don't remember the whole thing but it was amusing. Very interesting and funny. I was laughing all the way when the seniors were in the class till my stomach ached coz that was not all.
Sihui was next, going head over heels about Scott. He went a bit crazy, writing him loads of messages and his messages were really funny. Like did anyone bully you bla bla in chinese and it was the si han style. And he said he got Scott kaya or something but not carrots and Scotts likes his kaya. Then, he went to the board and spammed the board with his 'love' messages to scott. Arrow down, 'This is our destiny' points at his message. That was really classic. Oh and he added in his message: PS i'm not gay 我不是同性恋。 HILARIOUS. They are one fun bunch of people. Uproarious. New word of the day.

Birthday is troublesome. What with class funds, chinese new year, snl etc etc, i shan't pin high hopes in celebrating my birthday this year. Then i won't be in for another disappointment.

Today marks the closure of SNL. Weeks of rehearsing, getting myself tired out etc, but also learning new things, meeting new people, all in all, it was fun. The aircon in AVA is finally back! Though we've suffered for weeks before already... It was a success and it was more than full house!!! Some 13 seniors even had to sit on the stairs. So sorry... But now, i'm dead tired.

Today's a great day. Without morning of course. What with third period PE. BLEAH. *Sticks tongue out and vomits*
Sketch night live went on pretty well. It was quite enjoyable... Yan is funny. But his memory is horrible. Had fun chatting together while we waited for our piece though. And Hans' costume is classic. After drama it'd be so much more relaxing in a way. Since there wouldn't be any more rehearsals. :) But i won't get to meet all the fun seniors after snl... Alright. All good things have to come to an end. We learnt that in chinese. Got to bathe. Seeya!

Everything seems wrong

I still feel that wave of sadness hitting me hard on the face whenever i see something related to that incident. When i pause and think about it for a second more, memories just flood through. It's difficult to forget, especially the pain inflicted upon. I still feel it as though the wound was still fresh. I've tried. Really hard. To forget everything, to let go. But i can't. Perhaps it's because i can't forgive and forget. I don't know. The gush of emotions just come, smacking me hard and leaving me downcasted. I don't know. I've been running away from things. But even if i do face it, what difference would it make? Anger should overpower sadness but it doesn't seem so. Sixth sense, or women's intuition. Whatever you call it, i feel it. She must be there, spreading rumours, untrue gossips, talking behind my back, of her version of whatever happened between us, just like how she told me about others when we first met. All the sarcasm. I should be prepared to face this. I should have expected this. Maybe i just don't know her that well.
I walked passed, she called out to her friend 'Eh. My best friend' in total sarcasm. What else could it have meant? Literature together. I should have just hit my head hard against the wall.
It means nothing to her. Nothing.

Thë ÐuLLåh™» says:

i think i'll go friday night

i shall go invite my class mates

the faces of bobbie says:

kk thank you

u know abdullah's number?

it's faster to get tickets from him directly

«Thë ÐuLLåh™» says:

abdullah.

i think thats me

the faces of bobbie says:

oh

haha sorry

i mean adeeb

haha

 

 

Oh my i'm retarded