uncertainty

3 days and i finished a chinese novel online. Nice story. But i guess i'd have to take a break now, since i'd always be void of the world whenever i start reading a book and get captured into it.
Today was getting back results day. Not worth celebrating at all. Not at all. It was quite horrible, and i wonder whether or not my french had affected me in certain ways, since i only started to really pay full attention studying after my french exams. I guess i may have to give up on it next year. Hope i can endure a bit longer. I don't wish to give up!!! But still, i bet i don't have a choice... I feel uncertain, scared even. i just heard that vjc would be looking at our results, though i didn't receive any email that indicates that we have to show them the exams results...But i heard from others it was in the mail. I checked and couldn't find any. So, what the heck is happening? What if my results turn out to be horrible? I dread to think of the worst possible outcome... I don't know. I feel lost. No doubt this holiday i would be studying really really hard and when the year starts , i'd have no time at all to slack or whatsoever. It'd be study time. I don't know if i'd be able to stand it, to be able to endure through, to be able to do well. What if i end up being kicked out or that i can't stand it anymore? Then how? I don't know why i lost the confidence that i had just yesterday. The confidence that i have to pull me through the next few years no matter what. My results? Comparison with others? If my studies were really below standard, then why was i selected to go for the interview? My cca will stop after annual camp, but that would be like 16 november? I guess my holiday is just studying. No time to enjoy, go out everyday... Once again, i'm stuck in the middle, having no idea whether to step forward or retreat backward. I don't know. I really don't know...