some things just cannot be forced

Sometimes, it's good to not get too close. There will never be enemies, nor someone whom you hate forever. As time passes, the emotions you experienced will no longer be as strong and gradually, you will forget about everything. But, when forced by circumstances at certain points of time, you work together with these people and just realise that you can't get along with them. You may not feel anything when you aren't that close to that person, or that you barely talk to the person. However, the holes in the friedship will only prove that you can't get along well with that person. The holes will always be there. It's just a matter of whether or not you feel it, you see it.
As what Mr Tay said,

“勉强是不会有幸福的。”

This year had been really, really tiring. A failed friendship, injuries, lost, misunderstandings, disappointment... So many, so many things. I need a break and perhaps leaving is the best choice that i have.
Once you've fallen down, the experience would be like a shadow that follows you, that haunts you down. At the very first point, you may not feel anything, just worried. People said that my tooth could be glued back, but it was not the case. The fall meant nothing. The pain was not that horrible. I could take it. I wasn't afraid of it. But just very worried for the lost of my tooth. When the dentist said that a fake one could be fixed back, i was relieved, not even bothering to think about it anymore. As long as there is a tooth there, it doesn't mater at all. However, the disappointment in my mother, for she was very proud of my neat set of teeth, and the after-effects of having a fake tooth and all that i have to take note of, it just hammers into my head the fact of the lost forever. To others, it may mean nothing since it looked exactly like real, but who would know the phobia implanted in my mind? The lost struck me as painfully as a lightning would have strucked a person. Running, walking, climbing down the stairs, playing ball games... All these things may seem like small insignificant things, but to me, i keep having flashbacks of the fall. Not the pain but the feeling of my tooth broken into half when my face hit the floor. I could taste blood, feel my half broken tooth resting on my tongue. I don't dare. I'm afraid. After so much warnings from parents and dentist, i don't want to fall again. I don't want the whole nightmare to happen all over again. The emotional stress is too much for me. It may all be destined, but there's always the phobia that follows me. Flossing my teeth everyday, food getting stuck at my fake tooth, unable to munch on harder food properly, even eating bread can be troublesome at times. If you don't experience it yourself, you wouldn't know how i felt. Some may say i'm over-reacting, but i just can't afford anything to happen again. I used to think that breaking of my tooth would never ever happen to me but what happens in the end? There is never a 'never'. Anything can happen. Being very cautious is the only thing that i can do to protect myself. The older you are, the clearer the memory stays in your mind. There's no way to erase it away. It stays as vividly as it happened.
This is most probably the start of a nightmare. A heart-breaking, tiring year. How i wish all these can end...quickly. Will my year end with a nice, complete full-stop with everything settled, or just even more disappointment?