deteste

Sometimes, you meet people, irresponsible, irritating, annoying, scheming ones. What can you do when they don't care, they don't bother, even though it is THEIR responsibilities. You worry coz you're a part of the group, yet they don't when it is their job. They can just go laughing about, leading their happy lives without worries when they didn't even do their jobs well. You have to do all the worrying for them and they never bothered. Doing all the chores, having to run to get there before the deadline all because of that person who came late and she doesn't even feel sorry. Never mind about that. She has a job, i have mine too. I do more than her, more responsibilities and she can't even do her simple job well. She doesn't even feel guilty or sorry when she forgets something. Oh, it's so easy for her to just say 'I forgot'. Angry, but what can one do? No shouting and screaming at her, controlled my anger, told her nicely but she NEVER listens to you. Being lenient and this is what one gets. But, what position am i in to tick her off? She doesn't ever bother and i have to keep reminding her which she never bothers to take it to heart. In the end, you have to do all the chores and who will see all the efforts? All will just think it's her who did it since she's supposed to do it. Act she does, with that 'I'm so sorry face' in front of others. And the others forgive her, thinking she truly meant it. But, in private, when you work with her, she never felt sorry or guilty. Happy-go-lucky, one minute she says 'i forgot' the other minute she goes off to her gang of friends and start laughing and joking about, always so happy.

Hypocrites, acting in front of seniors, always so enthusiastic and everything, appears to be in good terms with everyone, acting so adorable, yet she starts ordering others around in private. So bossy and annoying. The mask she wears, always on when there's seniors, but who would see the real face within? Good acting skills, i would say.
It's tiring. Too tiring to continue acting. But i landed myself in a pit that i can never manage to crawl out of. I am stuck. While inside the pit, so many things are happening. People can change overnight, you never know who to trust. It's like a vacuum cleaner, the suction is sucking everyone away, to join that group. It's dark. Confusing. You never know what would happen. 3/4 of me had given up. But the promises, the hopes pinned on me. The disappointment if i were to leave. I don't know. This is not a pleasant experience. My mind is in a turmoil. What am i going to do? Who to trust? I don't know...